LIFTTTing the Grieving
How to speak love to those suffering loss
The Book of Job records 3 friends who sought to comfort their suffering friend. In the
end both Job and God call them poor comforters. They made several mistakes:
- They spoke about things they did not understand They tried to tell
Job what God was doing when they (like the rest of us) cannot truly know
what God is doing in any particular situation.
- They judged Job by his circumstances They assumed that Job's outward
situation told them all they needed to know. Though we dont usually condemn
people for sins just because the suffer (usually)). However, sometime
people do judge people because they continue to suffer in their grief.
- They did not empathize with Jobs feelings. They ignored
Job pain and focused on intellectual questions of right and wrong.
This does not catalogue all the ways one can hurt those we are trying to comfort. Our
culture has developed many well-meaning sayings that ultimately harm, such as:
It will be alright
God has a plan
Hes in a better place
I understand how you feel
Well/youll get/have another
Time will heal it
Just keep busy
Youll get over this
God has something better for you
Some of these are true and hurtful. Others are simply not true at all. There is a better
way, a way to LIFTTT people in their sorrow.
For other information on healing from suffering or abuse see: